Grandparent scams: how the call works and how to verify the caller

A grandparent scam is a phone call from someone pretending to be your grandchild, or another relative, in a crisis: arrested after a car crash, hurt, or stranded, and in need of money right now. They beg you not to tell anyone. A second voice often takes over as a “lawyer” or police officer, and the money is collected fast: cash handed to a courier at your door, cash mailed in a package, gift card numbers, a wire or crypto. Today the voice may be an AI clone. The defense hasn’t changed: hang up, call your grandchild on the number you already have, and ask for your family’s safe word.

The FTC calls it a family emergency scam; others call it the grandchild scam. Preparing ahead? Jump to the family verification plan. Money already gone? See what to do now.

How a grandparent scam call unfolds, minute by minute

This composite follows the grandparent scam calls described in federal cases and FBI warnings. Details vary; the order rarely does. Watch for the tell at each step.

1. 0:00 — “Grandma? It’s me.” The voice is crying or muffled. Ask “Jake, is that you?” and the caller becomes Jake, an opening the Minnesota attorney general describes. Caller ID may even show your grandchild’s number. The tell: you supplied the name.
2. 0:01 — The emergency. A car accident, an arrest, an injury, and a plea: “Don’t tell Mom and Dad.” The tell: a crisis only you can fix, wrapped in secrecy.
3. 0:03 — The handoff. A calm second voice takes over: your grandchild’s lawyer, or a police officer with a bail amount. The tell: the person in trouble goes quiet, and a stranger handles the money.
4. 0:06 — The “gag order.” You’re told a gag order bars you from telling anyone. Callers from call centers around Montreal used this line, federal prosecutors in Vermont say. The tell: secrecy protects the scammer, not your grandchild.
5. 0:10 — The payment. Withdraw cash for a “bail bondsman” who will come to your house, or hide the cash inside a magazine or book and mail it, a method the FBI has warned about. Some callers want gift card numbers, a wire, a payment app or crypto. The tell: a payment you can’t take back.
6. 0:40 — The courier. Someone knocks and takes the package. In a Massachusetts case, pickups were usually made by rideshare drivers who didn’t know what they carried, and some drove victims to the bank for more. The tell: a stranger collecting cash at your door.
7. Later — The second call. A mix-up, or a lawsuit. In a Rhode Island case, prosecutors say grandparents who had paid a courier $18,000 in “bail” were told to pay $40,000 more over a supposed lawsuit. They called the police, who were waiting when the courier returned. The tell: once you’ve paid, the price goes up.

Every step aims to stop you from making one phone call to your family. That call is your best defense.

Same script, other channels. The story also arrives by text (“Hi Mom, this is my new number”); see text message scams. On messaging apps, see how to identify a scammer on WhatsApp, Telegram and Facebook. If someone you know only online asks for money, see how to check whether someone online is real.

What each caller says, and what a real one would do

One call can include several characters. Each falls apart under a check you make yourself, with contact details the caller didn’t give you.

Checking a “lawyer.” Lawyers are licensed by a state agency in each state, and the American Bar Association keeps a list of those agencies. A real name proves little, since scammers borrow real lawyers’ names; what counts is calling the office number on the official listing and asking whether that lawyer just called you.

How AI voice cloning changes the grandparent scam

An AI voice cloning scam is the grandparent scam with a borrowed voice, and it removes the old giveaway: “You don’t sound like yourself.” A short audio clip, maybe from something posted online, can be enough to make a cloned voice sound just like your relative, the FTC warns, and the FBI says criminals create short clips in a loved one’s voice to impersonate a close relative in a crisis. Caller ID can be faked too: Michigan’s attorney general warns that scammers spoof a loved one’s phone number to impersonate them in distress.

The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) says in its 2025 report that these “distress” scams now use voice cloning and are evolving to imitate other relatives and close friends. Victims reported losing more than $5 million to them in 2025. That figure sits in the report’s section on AI, so it likely covers only cases with an AI link, not every grandparent scam.

AI hasn’t changed the rest of the script: the crisis, the secrecy, the rush, the payment you can’t take back. So don’t try to judge the voice. “Don’t trust the voice,” the FTC says; check through a channel the caller doesn’t control.

The fake kidnapping. The same tools power a harsher variant: a distraught voice, then a “kidnapper” demanding Bitcoin by a deadline, as in an example from D.C.’s Department of Insurance, Securities and Banking. If someone may be in danger, call the police right away, as the FBI advises.

What the law can and can’t do. In February 2024 the FCC made AI-generated voices in robocalls illegal without the called person’s prior consent, and in 2024 the FTC’s Voice Cloning Challenge rewarded ideas for spotting cloned voices and making real voices harder to copy. Neither stops a live scam call, so the FTC’s advice stands: hang up and call your relative at a number you know is theirs.

How to verify a caller in the moment

You don’t have to work out whether the voice is real. You need one check the caller can’t control.

1. Hang up, or say you’ll call right back. A real emergency can wait for one phone call. If you can’t hang up, ask about a family detail only the real person would know and that never appears online.
2. Ask for your family’s safe word. The FBI recommends a shared verbal family password or phrase that only your family knows. Ask for it (“What’s our word?”); never offer it (“Is it ‘blue canoe’?”).
3. Call back on a number you already have. Not the number that called you, and not one the caller gives you. A familiar number on the screen isn’t proof.
4. Call someone else in the family. If your grandchild doesn’t answer, call a parent, a sibling or a close friend, even though you were told to keep it secret. The FBI and the FTC both advise this.
5. Check every “official” yourself. Find the main number of the police department, jail, court or hospital on your own. For a lawyer, use the state’s official lawyer lookup.
6. Don’t move money while you check. The FTC says anyone who asks you to pay by gift card or money transfer is a scammer. Don’t hand cash to a courier, mail cash, use a crypto ATM or give your address to a caller you haven’t verified.

Make a family verification plan before the call comes

Agree on this at the kitchen table, not in the middle of a panicked call. Print the list, fill in names and numbers on paper, and keep it by the phone.

• A safe word or phrase, chosen in person. Nothing findable online: not a pet, a street, a team or a school. Don’t text or email it.
• One rule for everyone. An emergency call asking for money gets a call back first, whoever it seems to come from.
• A call-back list. Each grandchild’s own number, plus a parent and one more relative or friend for each.
• A “first call” person. The relative you phone before any money moves, secret or not.
• A never-for-a-phone-call list. No cash to couriers, no cash in the mail, no gift card numbers, no crypto ATMs, no wires.
• Trips shared directly. Grandchildren tell grandparents about travel themselves, so a “stranded abroad” story is easy to test.
• Fewer public voices and details. The FBI suggests private social media accounts and fewer public posts of your image and voice, for grandchildren too.
• Reporting numbers on the same page. Your local police non-emergency line, the National Elder Fraud Hotline (833-372-8311), ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov.
• One practice run. A family member makes a pretend “emergency” call, and everyone walks through the steps.

The safe word is the FBI’s advice. The FTC words it differently: call back on a number you know is right, and ask a question only the real person would know. Use both: the safe word is the quick test, and the call-back settles it.

Where scammers get the details. A convincing call needs only a few facts: a grandchild’s name, your city, maybe a school. The FTC says scammers take them from social media or a hacked email account, or simply guess. To shrink what a stranger can find, follow how to protect your personal information online, see what a stranger finds under your name and remove your own listing; the last two are free.

Already paid or handed cash to a courier? What to do now

Act fast, and tell your family: secrecy only helps the scammer.

1. If a courier may come back, call your local police. Note a description, the car, the license plate and the time. In the Rhode Island case, officers were waiting when the courier returned.
2. Call whoever moved the money, right away, and ask them to stop or reverse the payment. The table below shows who to call; the FTC’s guide to what to do if you were scammed covers mailed cash, gift cards, wires, payment apps and crypto.
3. Report it to the FBI at ic3.gov, the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and your local police. For victims 60 and older, the National Elder Fraud Hotline, 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311), assigns a case manager to help with the reports, weekdays from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern.
4. Save everything: the numbers that called, names the callers used, times, receipts, tracking numbers and gift card numbers.
5. Expect more calls. Anyone who offers to recover your money for an upfront fee is a scammer, the FTC says, and the elder fraud hotline warns that impostors have posed as its staff.

How common are grandparent scams? What the numbers show

No official figure counts all grandparent scams: the FBI’s IC3 files them under a “confidence/romance” category that also includes romance scams. Each figure below covers one slice.

Common questions about grandparent scams

How do grandparent scammers know my grandchild’s name?

Often they don’t at first: many calls open with “It’s me” and wait for you to say a name. Others take names from social media or a hacked email account, or guess. A caller who knows a real name has proved nothing.

Can scammers really clone my grandchild’s voice?

Yes. The FTC warns that a short audio clip, maybe from something posted online, can be enough for voice-cloning software to sound like your relative, and the FBI says criminals use fake clips of a loved one’s voice to ask for money. Treat the voice as no proof, however real it sounds.

Can a scam call show my grandchild’s real phone number?

Yes. Caller ID can be spoofed, and Michigan’s attorney general has warned about scammers spoofing a loved one’s number. Hang up and dial the number you already have: a call you place yourself reaches the real phone.

What makes a good family safe word?

A word every relative can remember under stress and that appears nowhere online, so not a pet’s name, street, school or team. Agree on it in person, never text or email it, and ask callers for it instead of offering it.

Should I give bail money to a courier who comes to my door?

No. The FBI warns that scammers send couriers to collect cash, and some are rideshare drivers who don’t know what they carry. Hand nothing over, call your grandchild on a number you know, and call local police.

Do these scams only target grandparents?

No. The same script reaches parents, aunts, uncles and friends, and the FBI says the scam is evolving to imitate other relatives and close friends. The same checks work for everyone: hang up, call back, ask for the safe word.

Where do I report a grandparent scam call?

To the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, the FBI at ic3.gov and your local police. People 60 and older can get help reporting from the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311.